The YSA Charade

"I already know an awful lot of people; until one of them dies, I couldn't possibly meet anyone else." – Reggie (Audrey Hepburn) in Charade

As clearly evidenced by my over 1000 facebook friends, I know a lot of people. Granted, I probably am only friends with about 10% of the people who I was once acquainted with enough to befriend via facebook. But still, having 1000 friends on facebook has to mean that I at least know a lot of people. (Or at the very least, it shows that I’ve moved around a lot and been in college forever…)

Having moved to the Washington DC area has presented me with numerous opportunities to meet new people on a fairly consistent basis.

And if you know me, you know I like to talk to people (or inanimate objects, I guess it doesn’t really matter). But I don’t like to talk to complete strangers in huge groups. That’s just not my element. I like to command the room of 15 people, rather than be a minor participant in a room of 150.

And, my friends, the YSA wards in DC are seriously cramping my style. I cannot attend any function with less than 80 people. I don’t understand how anyone is able to meet anyone and remember anyone. I get a little frustrated when I have to introduce myself to the same person 4+ times. But then I find myself talking with a group of people that I probably met in September and had absolutely no recollection of our conversation or any sticking points about the individuals, who apparently remembered me. (Sometimes it’s just as bad to find yourself on the other side of the equation).

My DC philosophy is that I didn’t need to befriend any females. Let’s be honest. I don’t want to attend another bridal or baby shower. And if I have to play another game of make a toilet paper wedding dress, you may get a real reason to use that much toilet paper… And to add insult to injury, nobody has ever bought me a set of Pyrex mixing bowls or some fancy kitchen gadgets that I could use just as much as them. I’d like to have a “Melanie Likes Kitchen Gadgets, Too” party so that I can recoup some of cash I’ve shelled out for the friends that disappear into coupledom never to return. But alas, I don’t think anyone would attend (or worse, get me gadgets!), so I’ve refrained.

But seriously. I have no desire to befriend any females here. I could probably use the strategy to have close female friends to introduce me to their cute male friends. But I’m not. There are just so many people that I need to focus my energies on friendships that will yield better results for the endgame. Am I right? (You know you’re secretly agreeing with me on this one).

I’m not clawing my way past the 8:1 (exaggerated) female to male ratio to find THE ONE. Not.Doing.It. Instead, I’m just going about my business, finding things that I’m interested in, and slowly meeting people and probably not remembering them as they fail to recognize me as well. It’s likely that this strategy will not yield the optimal results (marriage), but I guess I’m ok with that. Because honestly, I have enough friends.