Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Internal Musings

Well, I feel like I never really stopped the job hunt, and it's starting right back up again. To gear up this time, I'm reading, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." The tips are pretty common sense things that I've heard my whole life: Don't criticize, smile, give honest appreciation, fake it 'til you make it, etc. I just wonder if I can put them into practice.

I guess one thing that has always bothered me is the idea that people like it when you remember their name. I think sometimes yes, but sometimes no, because if they can't remember your name, then I think they feel bad. I've been generally pretty good with remembering people's names and random facts about them, but I often pretend that I don't remember as much as I do because I don't want to seem weird. This was even before facebook helped me keep tabs on what everyone was doing without asking any questions. I try to remember a good amount of information to match what the other person knows. For example, I met a person a few weeks ago and knew a lot about them. Then I ran into them at a group function and he asked someone else my name because he couldn't remember it. So I asked him his name again, even though I knew it, so that he wouldn't feel like he was supposed to remember my name. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Do you like it when people remember your name, even when you can't remember theirs?

In other randomness, I've been thinking about how interracial or intercultural relationships could ever work. It's a mystery to me. I've been asked out by two different men of different races/cultures than me and I've turned them both down. I'm just not interested. Dating is hard enough as it is. But to add the fact that we basically come from two different worlds... how is that going to work.

Sometimes I think globalization makes life much more difficult rather than having everything at our fingertips. I wonder what my life is going to be like in a few years and how the world will have shaped it.

6 comments:

HollBurd said...

Dear Melanie,

Once upon a time I read that same book by Dale Carnagie (I probably spelled his name wrong, he would frown on that) and promptly thereafter met the man of my dreams and got married. So I say read away even if it is things you already know :)

About the whole remembering name situation. I also feel like the weirdo (weirda if that were spanish... okay I'm a dork) because I feel like I always remember more about other people than they do about me. For example, I worked at the bank on campus. I would see people around campus that I knew from the bank and would know who they were, where they lived, what their class schedule was like... all because they would talk when they came to the bank. They, on the other hand, would spend a great deal of time trying to figure out where they knew me from and eventually ask me. I would always reply "I work at the bank on campus" and then it would suddenly click "Oh. You're that one teller." And once again, I would still know everything about them, and they only know me as "that one teller".

The point I'm trying to make in this essay, rather than comment, is that I totally get what you are saying! Where is the balance between weird and just really smart? Or are we just so interested in other peoples lives that we go out of our way to learn about people?

Spain ruined intercultural relationships for me, personally, but I do know people who are happily married from two different cultures. I guess it just depends on your style.

Melanie said...

Clearly you mastered what Dale said. I'm sure you could have been friends with all of those people.

I guess we'll see if the secret to marriage is reading that book...

HollBurd said...

I say it's worth a try :)

Hot gossip said...

Defintely it is. I think i should just go and do it. =)

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