What the internet tells me about my dating life

So I have a little secret. I totally signed up for a free online dating sight like 6 months ago or something (I have since deleted my account).  A close friend of mine had undergone some online dating and had great success. And I thought, if she can do it, surely I can do it too! (ha!)

On my profile, I said that I was allergic to cats and one of the emails I received was: "What would you do if you saw a cat in your room?" 

Really? That's the best question that you have? 

Who are these men? This is why you are not successful at dating. Because that is the question you ask a complete stranger about her online dating profile... 

What would I do? I would wonder why a cat was in my room. And then give it some water and food and find somewhere to take it. What am I supposed to do? Scream? I'm not afraid of cats. I'm allergic to them. And have allergy medicine quite accessible. 

But I digress.

After about a month of equally promising responses, I got this lovely email: (you can see my comments embedded in the image) 

I suppose it's good to know that I'm considered among the "most attractive" for online dating. I'm sure they send that to everyone so everyone boosts up their usage of the site. And it's still an online dating site, so...

Well, the long of the short, is that I no longer participate in online dating because it was just ridiculous. I had maybe a minimal interest in the people that I viewed. And orchestrating a small talk conversation over the internet was painful. 

But I need to figure something out because Time Magazine predicted my perfect marriage date, and it's coming up quick (coincidentally it's the date of my 10 year high school reunion):

Time seems to think that I'm not going to make it by that date with that "But remember, half of your friends were married after that age!" line. However, I find it hard to believe that this infographic is accurate. Does Facebook require married people to put the date that they were married? For example, my mom is my friend on Facebook and got married at the age of 22, but she joined Facebook at 55(ish) so would it say that she was married at 55? I don't know how reliable this information is. 

All of that to say, that there is still time for my perfect marriage date. Albeit just a few months. And this seems like a pretty silly analysis with extremely limited data. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Internet Gems

I am so glad that I can watch silly videos on the internet. Especially ones about Ryan Lochte. I am pretty sad that I didn't hear anything ridiculous about the premiere of his reality TV show, but I'm hoping the best is yet to come. This clip is just too funny.

I'm hoping that this yields some pretty amazing results. I mean, I hate a lot about weddings. Like the receiving line, and bridesmaids dresses. But I probably hate a lot more about Mormon weddings - you know the tulle and the stake center gym and inviting every person you've ever met to the "reception" and having nothing more than the cake, etc. Anyway, I'm excited to see the result...

I also love Jimmy Fallon's Hashtag game. This is one that I can relate to. 

Anyway, as nothing interesting is going on in my life right now, I hope you can enjoy a little bit of these internet gems.

I have a serious problem

I'm an addict. An internet junkie. I don't know what's wrong with me, but in these last two weeks it has become apparent to me that I need to create parental blocks or something because I just waste too much time on the internet. I'm not even looking at anything really good.

I go to facebook (and check out overheard @ BYU), read mylifeisaverage.com, passiveaggressivenotes.com, just a bunch of funny things that are really pointless. Then I browse blogs and links to people I don't know, will never know, and really don't care about. Not even crazy neat things, just posts about their families, which is cool, but I kind of feel like a stalker. Why do I care when so-and-so has her baby, or what they did for Christmas? I don't know. It's a serious problem.

So that's the dilemma... who wants to put password protection stuff on my computer so I cannot go on these websites? Any takers? If I were to download a different web browser would I need entirely new password protectors? Wait, on second thought, don't answer that truthfully, and just tell me no, so I won't do it to find out.

Sheesh... oh internet, why do you let me waste so much of my precious time?