I'm just not into poetry

Please note: I am a terrible person. I realize that. I'm working on it. But I thought I'd share with the blogging world, the joys of being in a BYU YSA Ward.

There must be something said about letting anyone speak over the pulpit in our church. Honestly, sometimes, I'm in shock that ANYONE converts to the gospel. I think it just goes to show that it MUST be true if you can feel the Holy Ghost testify of the truth of the gospel among all the crazy that is said over the pulpit. Let me illustrate the point with some experiences from my current ward.

I cannot handle it when all 3 speakers reference a poem. ALL THREE. I'm not kidding. It goes from a personal poem entitled "Old" (yeah, a doosy) to Shel Silverstein to Emily Dickinson to Robert Frost. (yeah, that's 4 but the last month my ward has been poetry crazy, so some of these were from 2 or 3 weeks ago). Just note, when you start sharing poetry, I stop listening. I know that General Authorities use poetry occasionally; it can be a great tool. I'm just saying, it's not for me. And if the previous speakers have already referenced poems, just skip that part of your talk. Please.

"Who's the better engaged person" War. I'm not kidding. 3 engaged people gave talks. The one 19 days out from her wedding date proclaimed herself the "winner." It's really awkward when you read off your Young Women "Marriage Standards" Checklist and say "RM - check," "willing to do the dishes, check" ... blah, blah, blah - check. Not funny or spiritual. Just.Plain.Awkward. Also awkward: telling us about your journey to get married. We don't need to know how many weddings you called off or proposals you turned down to get to this point. And some of us in YSA wards have a hard enough time getting a date, let alone 3 marriage proposals... thanks for rubbing that in...

Trying to show off with big words. I'm at a loss for the specific words that I wanted to remember, but let's just say, you don't have to prove to me how smart you are. Just because you used the word "Herculean" doesn't mean that you're smart.

This isn't really expressing the mocking that went on in my head during sacrament meeting today, but it was there. We should probably take the sacrament right after the speakers because I've already sinned by the time the closing hymn is sung. I hope to one day get to the point that Spencer W. Kimball was at in saying, "I've never been to a bad sacrament meeting." Clearly, I'm not there yet. One day... Just note for now, do not sit next to me in Sacrament if you don't want commentary.