The Home Teacher

Part of LDS life is having people visit or check up on you on a monthly basis. They are called home teachers or visiting teachers. I'm going to focus on home teaching. In YSA congregations, home teaching is kind of strange because the purpose is to check up on families, but since everyone is single, it can be a little weird sometimes. I've had great home teachers who are still my friends to this day. And I've requested that other home teachers be changed because I just felt plain uncomfortable.

A few years ago I was assigned a home teacher whom I already didn't care for very much. I've found this individual just a little bit out of touch with social norms and reality in general. This guy is very kind and means well, but is just not someone I really ever want to talk with.

Once this individual was assigned to be my home teacher, I was not really prepared for the quirkiness in store. He sent me an inspirational quote via text:

"To love a person is to learn the song in their heart, and sing it to them... when they have forgotten."

I already knew that he sent daily inspirational quotes to another friend of mine. And I thought, oh great, this is going to annoy me and put me in a bad mood on a daily basis. (I understand that maybe some people would appreciate daily inspirational quotes texted to them. I am not that person.) But then he didn't send me another inspirational text. ... for a few days.

Being the crotchety person that I am, upon receipt of the second inspirational quote text message, I texted him back "unsubscribe." Within the hour he texted me back that I had "successfully unsubscribed." He probably thinks I'm the crazy person, which I can live with. (maybe it is me that's crazy)

When I saw this, it truly spoke to me.

Why I run out of church after third hour:


Just Say Amen Already: http://amenalready.tumblr.com/post/39716698816/why-i-run-out-of-church-after-third-hour

Just another manic Monday

[Mom, I'm fine. The ambulance wasn't for me.]

Today was a crazy day! I'm pretty sure I ran through every emotion possible: stress, disappointment, excitement, happy, reverence, gratitude, sad, scared, worried etc., etc.

I was planning to go to Arlington National Cemetery today because my ward planned on laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. However, as I walked out of work, it started to rain. I wasn't prepared to stand outside in the rain for an hour, so I decided to bag it and just go home.

Luckily a portion of my commute is over the Potomac River and I can see what the weather is like outside, and the sky was breaking and it looked like the ran had subsided, so I decided to get off at the Pentagon, and circle back to Arlington National Cemetery. I'm so glad I did.

I got to see the changing of the guard and the wreath laying, which I hadn't seen since I was 13. It was a pretty somber experience. And this time, 4 members of the military from our ward were able to lay the wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown soldier. I didn't even know that we had 4 people in our ward in the military.

Carrying the Colonial 2nd Ward Wreath

Members of the Colonial 2nd Ward 

The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

 After putting my hand on my heart and listening to "Taps," I just felt very proud and very grateful for the men and women who serve our country. I definitely have an appreciation for Arlington National Cemetery.


Although this was a very exciting experience, this was not the end of my day.

Tonight was my last spring soccer game. Our team is mediocre, but I have a good time. The other team scored in the first minute. (Luckily I scored a few minutes after that). I actually had my best performance of the season by scoring two goals (a scrappy one and a "bend it like Beckham" one. Unfortunately, the game ended on a sour note.

A huge collision at about the 40 yard line and the "knee snap heard round the field" ended the match a few minutes early. A player on the other team dislocated his knee pretty badly. It was gruesome looking and sounding.

I have to say that this is not the first time I've been somewhere when we had to call 911, but at least this time it wasn't life threatening. (If you want to know about the other time, just ask me about jumping out of the window of a burning building).

I hope the other player is able to recover quickly. It did not look good. But suffice it to say, I've had an intense Monday.

The slowest arriving ambulance I've ever seen

Overstepping Boundaries

**If you are not LDS, this may not make much sense to you. Sorry about that. I'm sure I'll get back to my dating life soon enough (which shouldn't make sense to anyone).

Part of the boundary split map

Yesterday was apparently a traumatic day in the lives of many northern Virginians. Namely the young (18-30), single, Mormon ones. Yesterday, the boundaries of the Colonial 1st Ward (C1) and the Colonial 2nd Ward (C2) were completely mixed up.

For those of you who may not know, LDS congregations are divided according to geography. So depending on where you live, you are assigned to a specific congregation. Occasionally, a congregation will be too large for the building they meet in and the local church leaders will split the congregation into two or more congregations, if necessary.

I've only every experienced a congregation split once in my life. I was six. And I survived. So I'm assuming this will work out for me as well.

A little historical context:
When I was first moving into the DC area, many people suggested that I live in C1 because it was the "better" ward. My best friend herself was a member of C2, and another close friend was a member of the DC 2nd Ward, so I didn't give a ton of credence to their advice, but I did end up within C1 boundaries because of location. It was about a 30-35 minute commute to my work via metro. So that seemed reasonable to me.

Apparently there has been some feuding between the wards. Depending on who you talked to, I guess many individuals thought that C1 was "cool" or "rich and stuck up" and C2 was "not cool" or more like a "little brother."

We knew some changes were coming because they announced a combined C1 and C2 meeting and said that we'd "find out why" at the meeting, but no sooner. Of course speculation ran rampant. Luckily I don't have enough friends in C1 or C2 to have the need or desire to speculate about the fate of the congregation boundaries, and I didn't really think much about it throughout the week. I also thought, it was unlikely that it would really impact me because I live so close to the church building that it seemed like an "untouchable" location for any real drama to happen. [this is the greatest cliff hanger, right? You just know I was too smug there]

Well, come Sunday afternoon, the moment of truth hit. And it hit some people harder than others. The wards were split more or less down the middle - meaning half of C1 went to C2 and half of C2 went to C1. [this is not exactly accurate because the boundary changes were a little more complicated than that, but the more superfluous happenings don't really matter for the purpose of this story]. I ended up being one street from the dividing line. So yes, I'm going to C2.

Honestly, I don't care too much about switching to C2. I'm more concerned that I now have church at 3pm instead of 11:30. Who wants to go to church at 3pm?

Also, 150 people from C1 are moving to C2, so it'll be a lot of the same stuff. Oh yeah. And I live only a FEW BLOCKS from many of the people that are not moving to C2, so I can still, you know, say hi if I feel like it. I think it's an exciting change and should really make the congregations a little more friendly toward one another. It's good to shake things up once in awhile.

But today, only 24 hours from the announcement, people are trying to SWITCH their housing. Really? One girl emailed the listserv requesting a "housing" swap so she can be in C1. Now, I guess I should give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she's 19 and doesn't have all of the information and she just thinks that of course her house is the only house that will be changing.

But what I really want to say is: "Really? You haven't even moved in yet, so you can't possibly know enough people for it to matter, and you're already freaking out? How shallow and self-centered are you? Why do you even attend church? Did you know that its purpose is not just to have the 'coolest' friends, but you know, it's to worship God and reflect on Jesus Christ?" [I'm really Christlike in my rants, just FYI]

Can we please bring back the spiritual aspect of church in YSA wards? Pretty please?

But do you want to know the ironic thing? My best friend, who resides in C2, got switched to C1, so we're still not in the same congregation. Luckily, I see her about 3x a week regardless of the ward boundary.

Career Woman

Growing up with a mom that always worked outside the home and continued to ask me on a regular basis what I wanted to be when I grew up, I never thought about being a stay-at-home mom. In fact, I didn't even know you could want to be a stay at home mom until the 10^th grade when a teacher asked what we hoped to be when we grew up (I said orthodontist) and a girl in my class (not LDS) responded “a mother.” Until that day, the thought had never crossed my mind. Who would have thought that Primary and 4 years of Young Women classes and I didn't even know you could want to be a stay at home mom? Clearly someone failed.

Even after learning that I could desire to be a stay at home mom, it never really appealed to me. Granted, I like kids, and want them, but I have always considered myself an intellectual and wanted to contribute to society in some way in addition to raising my children to be good citizens.

And this is why being a young single woman in the church can just drive you crazy at times. When I was 19, I walked out of Sacrament Meeting when the High Council Speaker said that if we weren't dating, we were sinning and that we had to focus on our divine roles as mothers and fathers. It annoyed me immensely, and even offended me because at 19 I had no desire to be a mother, yet. I wanted to learn, explore various academic disciplines, travel, etc.

Fast-forward a few years to now, and I no longer get offended by the off-hand comments people make about being mothers and aspiring to be mothers. I know that their comments aren't meant to offend me, but I still seek to change LDS culture in assuming that every young single woman desires to be a mother and is only pursuing a career because she hasn't gotten married yet. So that’s what I’d like to do now.

While many young single women in LDS culture yearn to be mothers, it does not mean that everyone does. Why can’t we focus on supporting smart, capable, driven women to seek after positions in academia, corporate America, government, or other sectors of the work force, and aid them in balancing their families and their desires to develop their career and intellectual pursuits?

I am sick of women seeking all the education they can only insofar as the off chance that they may not marry, their husband dies, or they divorce. That is so short-sighted. I would venture that many women in the church have had to work professionally at some point during their lives. Women are outperforming men on all degree levels and in most disciplines. With the flexibility in the workforce, there are many more options for women to pursue a career while supporting and nurturing a family. Why is this still not seen as viable, laudable, and desirable for women?

I was speaking with a group of smart, 20-something women and one of them stated that she was the ward employment specialist, but she really liked setting people in the ward up on dates and did that “in conjunction” with her calling. I was completely baffled at the connection until another woman in the group said, “Well, since all women want to be homemakers, that really was their desired career projection you are effectively magnifying your calling.” I just rolled my eyes and swallowed the vomit that had surfaced.

Additionally, a friend of mine texted me about her stake president’s wife who titled her stake conference talk “Families can be together forever, but first you have to get married” and focused on how we’re limiting the number of children we can have because we’re too focused on careers and we’re putting off marriage.

To these women, I say, please stop generalizing your own experience with the common human experience. Just because someone gets married at 20 and has 7 children does not mean that that formula is right for everyone.

I desire to have a family, but my family will look different than your family. I find the pursuit of a career immensely rewarding personally and immensely beneficial for a well-adjusted “successful” family. I am grateful that my mother has two master’s degrees and has taught me that the pursuit of education was important. Not just in case something happened to my husband, but important for me to find personal satisfaction and to seek after the potential that I have.

I would like to state that if it is your desire to be a mother and stay at home and raise your children, I see nothing wrong with that. I would just like to state that that path is not my personal primary desire.

I want to be a role model for women who can balance career and family but I want to be clear that I am not saying that there aren't women who are role models who are stay at home mothers. There are many. However, if you can provide any valuable insight on balancing career and family in the LDS culture, that’s the talk in stake conference or in a Relief Society Meeting that I would like to hear.  

Jam-Packed Sabbath

Today was a pretty crazy day.

First, church was rough since it's fast Sunday in a YSA ward. I led the irreverent charge during sacrament meeting and ended up walking out in the middle of a ridiculous testimony about "sock man." But it wasn't all a loss because this guy told me I was one of the most beautiful women he knows. It was a little awkward, but I'll take the compliment.

After church, I come home to change into my jeans and to my surprise I find a field MOUSE in my closet! Are you kidding me?

I thought I was a pretty tough cookie. Nope. I screamed like a little girl. Like 15 times. After 45 minutes and frantic calls to my home teachers and land lord, they eventually caught the mouse and let him go somewhere.

It was a pretty intense afternoon.

Later on, we went over to my neighbors/home teachers' apartment to watch the Christmas Devotional with them. Unbeknownst to them, I'm the one dropping off the little 12 days of Christmas items on their doorstep. So when we go over tonight, I drop the stuff off, and when they answer the door they do not realize it's there.

When another roommate comes home an hour later, he makes it clear that they had failed to catch the culprit because the 4th day of Christmas was on the doorstep.

I left four air planes and I wrote my phone number on them. (four calling birds) BUT, I wrote each section of my phone number backwards, so it's not so straight forward.

It was really funny for them to show us all of the 12 Days of Christmas things and say that the "culprit" is really smart. They were impressed with the note I left on the nursery books yesterday (the note said "some of it might have gotten lost in the French translation). And today, they were pretty impressed that I thought to leave a phone number to tie in the "calling" part, and to leave a clue.

So now they're trying to rack their brain for anyone they know in Oklahoma. ... they haven't figured out the code yet. We'll see if they ever do.

I'm just not into poetry

Please note: I am a terrible person. I realize that. I'm working on it. But I thought I'd share with the blogging world, the joys of being in a BYU YSA Ward.

There must be something said about letting anyone speak over the pulpit in our church. Honestly, sometimes, I'm in shock that ANYONE converts to the gospel. I think it just goes to show that it MUST be true if you can feel the Holy Ghost testify of the truth of the gospel among all the crazy that is said over the pulpit. Let me illustrate the point with some experiences from my current ward.

I cannot handle it when all 3 speakers reference a poem. ALL THREE. I'm not kidding. It goes from a personal poem entitled "Old" (yeah, a doosy) to Shel Silverstein to Emily Dickinson to Robert Frost. (yeah, that's 4 but the last month my ward has been poetry crazy, so some of these were from 2 or 3 weeks ago). Just note, when you start sharing poetry, I stop listening. I know that General Authorities use poetry occasionally; it can be a great tool. I'm just saying, it's not for me. And if the previous speakers have already referenced poems, just skip that part of your talk. Please.

"Who's the better engaged person" War. I'm not kidding. 3 engaged people gave talks. The one 19 days out from her wedding date proclaimed herself the "winner." It's really awkward when you read off your Young Women "Marriage Standards" Checklist and say "RM - check," "willing to do the dishes, check" ... blah, blah, blah - check. Not funny or spiritual. Just.Plain.Awkward. Also awkward: telling us about your journey to get married. We don't need to know how many weddings you called off or proposals you turned down to get to this point. And some of us in YSA wards have a hard enough time getting a date, let alone 3 marriage proposals... thanks for rubbing that in...

Trying to show off with big words. I'm at a loss for the specific words that I wanted to remember, but let's just say, you don't have to prove to me how smart you are. Just because you used the word "Herculean" doesn't mean that you're smart.

This isn't really expressing the mocking that went on in my head during sacrament meeting today, but it was there. We should probably take the sacrament right after the speakers because I've already sinned by the time the closing hymn is sung. I hope to one day get to the point that Spencer W. Kimball was at in saying, "I've never been to a bad sacrament meeting." Clearly, I'm not there yet. One day... Just note for now, do not sit next to me in Sacrament if you don't want commentary.

Elbow Grease

5th Sundays are a little odd in my experience in Provo because they just have the Bishopric teach the Elder's Quorum and Relief Society separately, instead of together. The chat is often on the law of chastity. Last Sunday was the 5th Sunday.

The Bishop mentioned touching a guy on the elbow on multiple occasions during his lesson, and I had a puzzled look on my face. The elbow? So I asked the girl sitting next to me and she was like, "yeah, didn't you know that if you touch a guy's elbow 3 times in a conversation, he's more likely to ask you out? ... It's a subconscious thing that they've done psychological studies on."

No, I had no idea. That is the weirdest theory/study. I understand that physical contact is important (both subconsciously and consciously), however, I had never heard about the specifically touching the elbow. I really think it is a Provo myth because everyone seemed to already know it. (I've been doing an informal survey this week).

Either way, I think this calls for an experiment. Or challenge. Don't worry, I plan on reporting back on my findings. ...