Just Take the Hint

Remember the guy who asked me out on another date 20 minutes into the date we were on? Unfortunately for me, he’s in my church congregation, and now that I've met him, I see him EVERYWHERE! And he’s impossible to avoid. 

I sat down in a pew at church about 5 minutes before church started. I was minding my own business. He moseys over to me and sits down. I must have made a face or something because he asked “can I sit here?” I responded, “I guess.” (It sounded rude when I said, but apparently it just rolled right off his back). I wanted to say “no,” or, “I’d rather you didn’t,” but I refrained. I quickly leave after the meeting concludes and head to my next meeting. He sits down next to me again. Really? Why? I have nothing to say to you. Please leave me alone! (Didn't you see me bolt out of the first meeting? FYI: That was to avoid talking to you.)

About every other time I see him (and I see him about 1x/week) he asks me out. Maybe he’s just inviting me to do “friend” things or maybe I’m just not clear enough that I’m not interested in spending another minute with him.

“Do you want to go to Karaoke with me and some of my friends this weekend?” I say no. I then say, I don’t like Karaoke. (but that’s a lie, I like Karaoke). Of course he thinks I’m just not interested in Karaoke… silly mistake.

“Do you want to go to a party with me in Restin?” I say Restin? No. Maybe he thinks that means I’d be fine with going to a party with him as long as it’s not in Restin. Clearly another error on my part.

“Do you want to go to a ‘Spanish’ dinner with me?” I say “A Spanish Dinner? You’re going to eat Paella?” “No, we’re only going to speak in Spanish.” I say no. He then says, “It’s going to be earlier in the afternoon.” I repeat no, and add an "I’m busy." And he looks at me puzzled. I say I’m going out of town. (which is true). Why am I too nice to people? I could have easily said, I’m not interested. Or I don’t want to go with you (EVER). 

These are just the three most recent examples.

Obviously, I’m not clear enough. I would like to say, “I don’t want to go anywhere with you ever.” But that just sounds very mean.

Although I could be clearer, I think that by continuously declining invitations and offering no alternative I’m being pretty obvious that I’m not interested. This guy is the most persistent guy you've ever heard of, right? Or the densest? The only other explanation is that I am the worst date rejecter of all time, which could still be true even if he is the most persistent and the densest. I normally don't have this problem because my personality speaks loud enough. (kidding!)

What can I say to get him to STOP asking me out? Otherwise, I’m going to have to get a restraining order… (that might get the message across…)