I wanna hold your hand

I have discovered my new weight loss miracle tool to aid my New Year’s Resolutions.* As I waited in line for the microwave at work, I caught a few minutes of Access Hollywood Live [for the first time in my life]. On Access Hollywood Live, they discussed the secrets to slim down. Here’s the segment if you’re interested:

There are several tips in that segment. But the one I’m most interested in is where I get to HOLD SOMEONE’S HAND and lose weight! Just 10 minutes a day! That is the best workout I can think of. Unless I have to hold Mr. Hawkins’** hand after his botched surgery.

So assuming that you’re an eligible bachelor, you want to help a girl meet her New Year’s Resolutions? I just need to hold your hand for 10 minutes a day. Any takers? I’m 100% serious. It’s for the greater good! A slimmer Melanie in 2013. That benefits everybody.

I think the real key that they failed to mention in the segment, is that since you’re holding someone’s hand, it makes it a lot more difficult to hold the bag of chips and stuff them in your face at the same time.

* I didn’t actually make any New Year’s resolutions this year.

**This is a law school joke. Unfortunately, I don’t think many of my law school friends read my blog, but if they did; AND if they remembered the “Hairy Hand” case from 1L Contracts (Hawkins v. McGee if you’re interested), they would be laughing right now.